“The happiest people I know are people who don’t even think about being happy. They just think about being good neighbours, good people. And then happiness sort of sneaks in the back window while they are busy doing good.” – Harold Kushner

What is family?

Is family an obligation? A support system? A coping mechanism?

I asked myself this question because I was on a self-pitying streak because I turned down an opportunity to go out and do something fun because it would inconvenience my mum. She didn’t ask me to, but I knew it would be crazy hard on her to try and transport me there. OH, YOU POOR BABY.

Yeah, so I was moping about thinking, “This is what life’s going to look like until August. I can’t do fun stuff like other kids, everything I want is secondary.” Then me and my martyr-complex went WILD with images of my Cinderellaesque future. Nooo, Betsy NEVER had any fun between then and when she moved out! Look at how temperate and self-sacrificing she is!

This is where I had to stop myself. Even if that were entirely true, I would not fulfill my role as effectively as if I were doing it because I wanted to. When we do things and think of them as a huge sacrifice and trial, honestly, we will not do them as effectively as if we want to. So instead of continuing this line of thought, I began to try and find a different way to think about it. My heart has to be in this, otherwise I may as well not try.

Some of that may be true, I do need to make what I’m doing secondary to everything that’s going on at the house. Words that I had said to my boyfriend a while ago came to mind when he was going through something, it was to the effect of: “Your presence was one of the best things during my struggles, your support was invaluable. Honestly, I’m just so grateful to have the opportunity to return the favor.”

I hate it when my sage wisdom comes back and slaps me in the face. Stupid boys. >_<

Because that’s really what family’s about. My family has supported me through rough bits, and if the current crises that my family is facing were about me, then I know that they’d do everything they could for me to the best of their ability and sacrifice everything to make sure I got through it. Right now its my turn; and honestly, even now, no one else cares for me more than my family. I think sometimes when home becomes in some ways more stressful than other places, it becomes easy to forget the fact that even though stuff is tough, no one loves me more or would show it as much as my family. I’m more loved here and more…what would the word be? Not quite sure how to put it, but I suppose the closest way of describing it is that they have more invested in me than anyone else.

So what I do for my family, be it staying home to look after the house, keeping the house tidy because it makes both of my parents a little less crazy (Kidding, mummy!), I’m happy to do it. I know that they would do the same for me and the things that this family is working towards is something I’m joyous to be a part of. My family is working towards the idea that the little girl in the other room currently watching Roseanne might someday be able to have a complete and fulfilling life.

I think that’s pretty worth skipping movie night for.

Love,
Betsy